Updated: Jul 29
I feel like for most of my life I’ve been the side character, who supports the main character. That’s what I felt like in most of my friendships and relationships.
I've given myself that role in other people's lives. The cheerleader when others are down, the fixer of people’s problems, and my favourite role is justifying other people’s hurtful actions because the empath in me understands them. Shoving down how I feel to be there for someone else, putting other people emotions above my own. Playing the role that other people needed me to play.
Who Supports Me ?
What about my feelings, emotions, and support from the people I have supported loyally over the years?
When you give people everything they always want more. You give your hand they want your arm until you give your whole body, soul, and energy. Until you’re left with nothing, feeling drained, depressed, and anxious.
It’s been an ongoing series in my life that inspired this blog post. I never wanted to be a burden to anyone so I’ve just dealt with everything on my own. When someone wants to help me, I don’t allow them to because I can do it on my own.
I'm tired of being the side character in my own life. I decided to change that by paving my path, self-publishing poetry books, taking care of myself, setting boundaries, and not worrying about upsetting people in the process.
A true friend or partner values your boundaries and celebrates your accomplishments.
Insecure people will try to tear you down in order to make themselves feel better. I refuse to allow people like that into my life. When I started working on myself I found that I didn’t align with certain people. My confidence intimidated them because they weren't confident. I had nothing in common with them, we had nothing to talk about. It was sad to let go of people that I had known for years. Unfortunately, that’s the sad part of when you decided to better yourself, you realize some relationships benefited from your weaknesses.
How to be the main character
How you feel about yourself is a direct reflection of what you attract in this world. I believe that key to everything you want is behind learning to love yourself! I know it sounds so cliché, but it’s so true!
Would you do something for someone you hate? NO!
Especially as woman we’re taught to nit-pick ourselves about everything, how we look, how we act, and taught to care about how we’re perceived by others (especially me).
Spend a day listening to your thoughts and write them down. If it's negative! Don’t be hard on yourself. You’re literately rewiring years of negative thoughts.
Listen to your inner dialogue.
How do you speak to yourself?
What do you say to yourself?
Take time for yourself to self-reflect and give yourself pep talks.
Learn to love your body, society is always going to have unrealistic standards that we will never be able to meet because they change too often for us to even keep up with them.
The creator made you as you’re and they didn’t make a mistake. You’re worthy of unconditional love, why not give it yourself?
Start a journal, I have a journal and I write in it when I feel good about myself, I read it when I don't feel confident to remind myself of the good things.
I tell myself I’m proud of myself for accomplishing things because I notice I don’t give myself credit.
I look in the mirror and I look myself in the eyes and tell myself “ I love you “. (It's going to be a little weird when you do it the first time lol )
It’s so easy to love other people and yet it’s hard to love ourselves.
These are small steps to start my journey of loving myself.
I encourage you to have patience and be kind to yourself always!!!